The Trade: Moving From the Life You Have to the Life You Want by Lon Stroschein

Author:Lon Stroschein [Stroschein, Lon]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Normal 40 Publishing
Published: 2023-07-11T22:00:00+00:00

Seven

The Box

Dealing with the Normal 40 started when I realized I had achieved more than I thought possible only ten years earlier. I had finally arrived at where I was trying to climb, only to find out it was not anything special. We have all heard the story. But it was actually worse: getting so much of what I set out to achieve created walls around me that I could no longer break down. Now I had the title, the income, the office, the trips, the car, the house, and the family life right where I wanted it. I had worked fifteen years to build this image, I worked fifteen years to build this box, and I didn’t know how to climb out. I was doing a job that supported an image, but I had a calling to go do something else – something completely different. But the image of who I already was held me in place – for four years. I had worked myself into The Box. And to get out, I would have to give something up, something I’d worked so hard to build.

The serious spade work begins with an essential but sometimes difficult recognition that no matter how successful you’ve been, you are operating day-to-day within the confining walls of autopilot. Autopilot is how life works once you’ve finally built yourself into The Box. That doesn’t mean the box in which you find yourself is, by traditional measures, bad. On the contrary, being stuck on autopilot often is consistent with a pretty good life. After all, you can only get onto autopilot after you’ve achieved a lot.

Let’s assume, for example, that you have a thriving marriage or relationship, a wonderful family, and no major health concerns, that you exist in a thriving community and culture, and that you are financially sound or stable. Assume, too, that you have a great job where you’ve progressed nicely over the course of a robust career, hitting a proud number of high points, are admired, and relied upon at work, and, for your part, respect your colleagues. You have the office others would love to have, the title others are waiting in line to apply for, and the lifestyle that others can only see as wildly blessed.

So far, so good.

Each day you glide through the tried and true, subconsciously checking each box on familiar and comfortable ground, honoring routines that fit naturally together. This seamless automation of life didn’t happen overnight. You put in long days and nights to get to this point. You know your stuff. You are on top of your game. It’s as if you have it down so well you could do it all in your sleep, and that is where the problem lies.

Let me illustrate with a personal example of literal autopilot.

I am a pilot. Ever since I was a teenager, I wanted to fly planes. I got my license at a relatively early age and have been flying ever since. When you fly planes, the idea of autopilot is very real—and, for these purposes, revealing.

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